Things to do instead of looking for a job

  • Read three to six webcomics, depending on the day of the week.
  • Watch episodes of Star Trek TNG on Netflix streaming.
  • Check facebook obsessively.
  • Read The Hairpin.
  • Get hungry but since you’re too lazy to fix a proper lunch just eat another bowl of cereal.
  • While you’re eating, you may as well watch another episode of TNG, right?
  • Realize you think you saw this episode of TNG featured on Fashion It So. Check to make sure and get caught up reading an entirely different post.
  • Browse a few job listings but discount each for one or more of the following reasons: suspect authenticity, shitty pay, shitty hours, shitty location, or poor grammar.
  • Take a nap. Job hunting is exhausting!
  • Google chat with some friends until they bring up your job hunt, at which point you thank them for their advice but mention you have to go do a thing, all the while mentally loathing them for caring enough to want you to succeed when you just want to live in denial because you are HAPPY RIGHT NOW. Why do they want to take that from you?
  • Play solitaire until you actually win (it takes a while).
  • Watch make-up tutorials on youtube. Try some out, but only the ones that are really smokey because you’re too lazy to remove the make-up you didn’t remove last night before going to bed more or less sober.
  • Start a tumblr and then swear at it for not allowing you to enter a break in the blog title because you are not savvy enough to figure out another way to get the goddamn word “probably” onto the line with “hates you.” CONGRATULATIONS TUMBLR. Kitty Ravenhart definitely hates you.